Days 82-91: Mental Health Break
*raises a hand* I feel a bit guilty in making this post. Not because I haven’t worked out in about a week (in a structured program – believe me, cleaning my room this past week has been a physical workout!), but because I haven’t blogged about it. I HAVE been eating pretty well, so thumbs up for that. But I just haven’t had the urge to blog about…well, what I AM doing. It’s just that when I got done with all the things I needed to do, I usually haven’t had a lot of time for just sitting down and blogging. I have really been tackling cleaning the apartment so I can FINALLY move out of here, I’ve had school work to do, I raid at night…not to mention I’m the one who does most of the cooking and shopping.
I should be doing better than I am. I should be going to bed earlier so I can wake up earlier and get things done before raid time. I should want to get up and do my workout first thing in the morning, get a shower, and be able to go to the store or even just go out to dinner if I want to. I haven’t been doing these things.
But you know what? I’m finally feeling real happiness.
I credit my workouts for this feeling. Sure, I haven’t lost a lot of weight, but my body has been changing in a positive manner. I’m wearing those size 10 jeans pretty comfortably now. Sure, they’re older jeans which means they’ve been stretched from previous wear, and I shouldn’t think about going out and buying a new pair of 10’s right now. But I wasn’t able to fit into them before. The fact that I can now means a lot to me. It’s a sense of true accomplishment.
So instead of worrying about a workout this past week (my heart rate monitor has been yelling at me for a while now to take a recovery week) I focused on other things to improve myself. Again, things like cleaning my room. I actually have FLOOR SPACE in here, and once I shelve/box the stacks of books I still have left on the floor (I have a LOT of books), I’ll be able to do my workouts in my room instead of in the hallway in front of the laundry area. Less clutter just makes my room feel better. It allows for a better energy flow. I like being in my room right now. My bed feels inviting, but no longer that place I want to retreat to when I want to hide from the world.
This also makes me want to finish my homework early and get it out of the way. I like not cramming out papers a half hour before they’re due. Or how about planning dinner? I like looking up new things to try to make.
In short, yeah, I’ve been taking a break from the exercise for now. It’s never far from my mind, and it’s not a case where I plan to do it and then just don’t for one reason or another. This break is intentional. I’m taking care of things that make me feel good about accomplishing them, which makes me want to accomplish more.
So sure, I feel a bit guilty about not posting, but I don’t feel too bad considering that time is being used to better myself in other ways.
After all, that’s part of the process of getting healthy: Getting in shape isn’t just about training my body and losing weight. It’s about getting healthier mentally and emotionally as well.