Day 23 – A look back

Aili: Paris 2000See this picture? This was me in May 2000. I was on top of the world then. Well, really I was living in Paris for my year abroad, but things were going right. This was the time I could speak French rather fluently, had an interesting internship that really sparked my career (moreso than my actual college major), and I felt that all was right in the world. I weighed in at just under 120 at this point.

My mom took this picture. She passed away from breast cancer about two months later. Even after losing her, and then drama amongst my circle of college friends thanks to an ex-boyfriend, I still held my head high. I was the girl in the picture. Unstoppable. Confident.

Funny how things can change.

As I said in my About page, I went through some pretty serious emotional trials over the past few years. I’m nowhere near as strong or as confident as I was back then. I look at this picture and marvel…then cling to it, trying to let that girl, who really is still deep down inside me, come back out.

I know it’s not going to be losing weight that makes her shine through again. Rather, it’s the other way around.

When (not “if”!) I do this…when I get myself back together, when I finish my Web Design degree, when I get a new job, and when I lose the weight…I will have new things to look back on and be proud of.

I took pictures of myself today, and I’m not all that proud of them. But I did it anyway so when I’m getting closer to my goal I can look back on these new pictures and remember that I’m moving toward the picture above once more.

Yesterday….

Meal #1:
1 egg
2 pc. low-sodium turkey bacon
6 oz. V8 Plus Fiber

Meal #2:
1/2 c rice
1/3 c shoyu chicken
1 apple
3oz. baby carrots

Meal #3:
~1 cup Old Bay steamed shrimp
Salad: 2 cups baby spinach
1/2 baby cucumber
5 grape tomatoes
2 strawberries
1/2 snack pack Dole Mandarin oranges
1/2 avocado
~2 tbsp goat cheese crumbles

Snack: Had this during raid. Did not eat anything past 9:30 pm!
1 Cadbury creme egg

Water:
3 Liters

Exercise:
Spark People Boot Camp Video #5: Pilates-Core workout
30 min Stationary Bike

Sleep: Bad sleep due to obnoxious neighbors–on the plus side, they’re being evicted!
5 hours

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Posted on May 6, 2011, in Daily Update and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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