Motivation for May
Part of doing this blog was to keep myself accountable. If I have to post every day about what I do (or didn’t do) then it keeps me in line to do (or not do) as I should.
I’ve already posted about the Easter candy, but that’s almost gone. I found out from eating my very delicious salad last night that my body really does crave that kind of healthy food even when my tastebuds would rather have macaroni and cheese. I drag myself to doing a workout every day, but when I’m done I feel good and proud of myself for getting it done.
It’s not easy, and most of the time when I’m grunting and sweating, trying to squeeze out that last push-up, I’m hearing that little voice in my brain saying, “It hurts! OH GOD IT HURTS! Haven’t you don’t enough already? Body will do this last push-up if you promise it a scoop of ice cream later! WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO ICE CREAM?! So why should I do this? Maybe you can do it tomorrow instead! I’m tired! Whyyyyyyyyyy?!” In short, when it comes to exercising, my brain goes into 4-year-old temper-tantrum mode, kicking and screaming “Dunwanna! Dunwanna! DUNWANNA!!!”
And when I’m done? Surprise surprise, 4-year-old Brain wants to take all the credit for getting me through it.
So I’ll admit, I don’t WANT to have to go through all this hassle to lose weight. But I HAVE to do it. Abstract goals like “It’s for my health” don’t do much to get me out of my computer chair, so I have to find other ways to motivate myself.
You know what my motivation is right now?
Yep. I’ve gone for three years now, and plan to go this year too. But even more motivating?
My black jeans that I want to WEAR to BlizzCon this year.
I don’t know if I will be in shape to make the cosplay costumes I want to make for BlizzCon. I have the material, but I don’t want to make them to fit me now, only to have to tailor them multiple times before the convention. So I’m sticking with my black jeans as my “I MUST WEAR THESE” goal.
You have to understand these black jeans. They’re not my smallest pair of jeans in my closet (that award goes to my Express “Bikini Jeans” that I could fit into back when I worked there…and WILL fit into again!), but they’re the most interesting.
They’re size 7/8 low-rise boot-cut jeans in a faded black wash and the front has brown suede (or suede-like) laces that criss-cross up the fly as the closure. I love those jeans. Right now I’m 2 sizes up from being able to squeeze into them, but they’re not the type you want to “squeeze into.” Oh, the dreaded muffin-top. So I need to drop anywhere between 2-3 sizes in 6 months.
I have no irrational belief that I will be bikini-ready in a month or so. Heck, right now I’m not planning on spending much time outside for the simple fact that my skin is so fair. I burrrrrrrrrrrrn easily.
But fitting into my favorite pair of jeans by the fall? That IS a goal that I can accomplish.
Right now they’re buried in a pile of “I can’t fit into these right now, but will someday” clothing. Part of my cardio workout is cleaning my room really well so I can use it to do my workouts in private. (I get self-conscious even when Ktok is around.) I haven’t worked my way over to that particular pile, but once I do I’m going to be hanging up those jeans in plain sight so I see them every day when I get up.
And someday soon, I will take them down off that hangar, and I will put them on. They won’t fit comfortably at first, I know, but buttoning them will be a triumph. Then I will keep working until they ARE comfortable. And after THAT, I’ll keep working until they are LOOSE.
When I can wear them so they are comfortable, I will post pictures. Then I will put on my largest jeans and show off the difference.
That’s a promise!