Day 23 – A look back

See this picture? This was me in May 2000. I was on top of the world then. Well, really I was living in Paris for my year abroad, but things were going right. This was the time I could speak French rather fluently, had an interesting internship that really sparked my career (moreso than my actual college major), and I felt that all was right in the world. I weighed in at just under 120 at this point.

My mom took this picture. She passed away from breast cancer about two months later. Even after losing her, and then drama amongst my circle of college friends thanks to an ex-boyfriend, I still held my head high. I was the girl in the picture. Unstoppable. Confident.

Funny how things can change.

As I said in my About page, I went through some pretty serious emotional trials over the past few years. I’m nowhere near as strong or as confident as I was back then. I look at this picture and marvel…then cling to it, trying to let that girl, who really is still deep down inside me, come back out.

I know it’s not going to be losing weight that makes her shine through again. Rather, it’s the other way around.

When (not “if”!) I do this…when I get myself back together, when I finish my Web Design degree, when I get a new job, and when I lose the weight…I will have new things to look back on and be proud of.

I took pictures of myself today, and I’m not all that proud of them. But I did it anyway so when I’m getting closer to my goal I can look back on these new pictures and remember that I’m moving toward the picture above once more.

Yesterday….